Jokes in the Third Reich

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Jokes in the Third Reich

Post by agibaer » 20 Nov 2003 12:14

Hi All!
I just found a book on the flee market of jokes about the party and the german leaders that where told during the Nazi-era. It's called "Der Flüsterwitz im Dritten Reich" which about means "the whispered joke in the third reich". Whispered as you could only tell them to your friends after making sure noones around as many people telling jokes like these ended up in prison.
I don't know if it's true but my father once told me that Goering always was told the latest jokes about himself by his driver and found them rather amusing. Except the ones where he's referred to as Meier after saying "If any british planes will ever reach berlin my name will be Meier". He was the most joked-at leader in this time and in the book.
Another person, except Hitler, that is laughed about most is Goebbels about his womanizing tendencies.
It's just a pitty that most jokes can't really be translated into English, all the "Heil" jokes for example, as "heilen" also means to cure somebody from a sickness. There's loads of good ones bout that, p.e.
"2 Irrenärzte treffen sich, sagt der eine: Heil Hitler! Darauf der andere: Heil du ihn doch!" would mean "2 mad-doctors meet, one says: Heil
Hitler! wheron the other says: Heil (cure) him yourself!"

here's three of the jokes, I hope the'yre still funny after I translated them into english :D

1.) (my favourite)
Adolf Hitler besucht die Staatskrankenanstalt Friedrichsberg, die früher die Bezeichnung Irrenanstalt trug. Die Patienten sind im geschlossenen Block aufgestellt und begrüßen ihren Führer infole langer Instruktion sehr hübsch mit dem Deutschen Gruß. Adolf sieht jedoch, dass sich einige Arme nicht zum Gruß erheben. Befremdet fragt er: "Warum grüßen Sie denn nicht?" Worauf ihm geantwortet wird: "Mein Führer, wir sind doch nicht verrückt, wir sind die Wärter!"

Adolf Hitler visits the home for people with mental disabilities in Friedrichsberg. The Patients are lined up and greet their Führer, after lng training and instructions, with the Deutsche Gruß. Hitlers very pleased but then he noticed that some of the people don't rise their arms to greet him. Confused he asks them: "Why don't you greet me?" Wheron the say: "But Führer, we're not crazy, we're the caretakers!"

2.) Was ist paradox?
Wenn ein Österreicher mit italienischem Gruß und amerikanischer Uniform deutscher Reichskanzler wird.

What's a paradoxon?
If an Austrian with an italian salut and american uniform becomes german chancellor.

3.) From the last days of the war:
Berlin ist eine Stadt der Warenhäuser denn da waren Häuser.

Berlin is a city of warehouses because there were houses.

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Post by Locke » 20 Nov 2003 12:45

Very funny :D :lol:
I found an anecdote about Goering:
Hermann Goering accompanied the Fuehrer on one of his visits to Rome. On the crowded railway platform filled with dignitaries and troops, the massive Marshal roughly jostled past an Italian gentleman of aristocratic bearing, who turned and haughtily demanded an apology. Fiercely the marshal turned upon him and snapped, "I am Hermann Goering." The Italian bowed and replied, "As an excuse that is not enough, but as an explanation it is ample."

I can't tell if this is true, but it's funny nevertheless :)


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Post by Grand Admiral » 20 Nov 2003 16:17

Several funny ones:

When will Germany win the war?

When Göring can fit into Göbbels's pants!

Himmler's Hirn Hist Heydrich

Himmler's brain is called Heydrich--or, "H. H. H. H.," which in Germans come out as "ha, ha, ha, ha."

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Post by G-man » 20 Nov 2003 20:08

Here is another.

When the RAF flies over, Jerry (Germans) takes cover.
When the Luftwaffe flies over, Tommy (British) takes cover.
When the Americans fly over...........everyone takes cover!


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Post by Helly Angel » 20 Nov 2003 21:35

Churchill in 1941 when Rudolf Hess was in front of him (in England):

- So... you are the Mad! - said Churchill.
- Oh no!... replied Hess- I´m his the Secretary!


In 1943 two former friends meets in Dachau.
-Hello Hans... What are you doing here?
-Well Fritz, in 1939 I said "Rudol Hess is a crazy"... And you?
- Well, in 1942 I said "Rudolf Hess is not a crazy!" :(


What is the bigger wish of a German Soldier: the food of britishs, the clothes of the russians, the weapons of the americans and a enemy like the Italians!

Sorry for my english!

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Post by Grand Admiral » 21 Nov 2003 01:26

You mean that Hitler's deputy is in England? Well, Hess or no Hess, I'm going to the cinema.
Winston Churchill

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Matt Gibbs
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I thought

Post by Matt Gibbs » 21 Nov 2003 01:39

I thought Churchill said he was going 'to see the Marx brothers' ; same thing I guess...
Matt Gibbs

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Post by Grand Admiral » 21 Nov 2003 01:41

Actually yes, he did--but I wasn't sure of the exact wording. It sounds funnier to say he was going to the Marx Bros. film. :D

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Post by MoofOO231 » 21 Nov 2003 03:18

I heard in this World war 2 book a preety funny joke

it goes that In Nazi Germany there was only 3 types of people

persons who were Nazis not intelligent but very loyal

Persons who were Nazis, intelligent but not loyal.

Persons who were NOT nazis but were intelligent and loyal.

something like that lol i think its funny

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Post by R.M. Schultz » 21 Nov 2003 04:06

Hans and Fritz meet on a Berlin subway car in early July 1934:

Hans: Did you hear? The Führer just executed Röhm and 400 SA men!

Fritz: What ever for?

Hans: He discovered that Röhm was homosexual!

Fritz: Mein Gott! What will he do when he finds out about Goebbels club-foot?

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Post by Mito » 21 Nov 2003 05:08

One Brown Page (Forschungsamt) related a phone call by the wife of General Kurt von Schleicher to a woman friend, with a riddle:

‘What is it? – Without an i, nobody wants to be it; with an i, everybody.’

The answer was arisch, Aryan. (Arsch is not a word of great endearment).

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Post by Manstein » 21 Nov 2003 07:42

A joke about Gauleiter Mutschmann based on his poor motivation of the people in his district for war. He had several private bomb shelters built but public protection from bombing was lacking:

Q: "Why aren't we bombarded yet?"
A: "Because we are punished enough already with Mutschmann."

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Post by Wulpe » 21 Nov 2003 14:10

There´s a book about whispered jokes and satirical poems in the Third Reich


More .....

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Post by R.M. Schultz » 21 Nov 2003 23:29

There is supposed to be a good book on this in English:

“Underground humour in Nazi Germany, 1933-1945 ,” Fritz Karl Michael Hillenbrand, Routledge, London & N.Y.C., 1995.

There is also a good chapter on Humor in:

“The 12-Year Reich, A Social History of Nazi Germany, 1933 - 1945,” Richard Gruneberger, Holt, Rinehart and Winston, N.Y, Chicago, San Francisco, 1971

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Post by EER » 22 Nov 2003 00:23

Here's one that was told at the expense of the somewhat ineffectual Reich Minister Bernhard Rust (supposed to look like a formula):

R (Rust)= The minnimum time span between the promulgation of a decree and its cancellation.

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